Run on Sentences...

Happy Halloween!

HS revisited

One of my first friends in the bay area, who I haven't spoken to in years, emailed me out of the blue last week. He had met someone who was from my town in

Michigan

.   Several emails have been sent and plans have been made to meet and talk about being a Midwesterner out here.   I found out that he went to my high school, although 3 years ahead of me. I asked my sister if she remembered him.  She didn’t, but she looked him up in her yearbook.  She looked at his senior picture (verdict:  “slight nerdy, but you like that”)  and told me his activities (varsity football, which may contradict the nerdy statement) and I felt like I was in high school all over again.   

My sister asked me if it was a date or not.  My answer:  I don't know.  Probably a "get together and see before we call it a date"  thing.   Yeah,  it's just like high school

Cottage Goodbyes

I’ll be away for a few days… I’ll be in

Michigan

to say goodbye (and help pack in between memories) to my family’s summer cottage. It seems that every nook & cranny of that place holds more memories than I can count.  My heart hurts thinking about saying goodbye.   I just want to sweep all the furniture into a truck and drive it to SF, if only to hold onto my special place for a little while longer.  You know how you say, ‘Oh I’d give up anything for that.’? I seriously thought about it.  I would have loved to have bought it from my parents if only the world, my world, were slightly different.  If only…. It’s been a rough couple months as I’ve re-examined the decision to live so far from my family and in such an expense place.   I’m trying to make peace with it, using the knowledge that there is a grand plan out there and that this is my path. I may not always see where it’s leading, but I have to have faith that it is the best place for me.  I also have to remember that what I’m losing are not things that would have happened. In all probability the family gathering over long summer weekends with grandkids running free would never have come to pass. What I’m losing is the possibility of such things.  And somehow, that seems even harder.   

It’s only appropriate that my imagination would run away from when thinking about the cottage. My imagination always seemed to be on overdrive during the summer weekends we spent there. Probably because the small black & white TV (invariable with a coat hanger antennae) only picked up two Canadian TV stations, and only if the wind was blowing the right way.   I spent my summers reading and swimming and ‘playing pretend’, which is quite a wonderful way to spend your childhood.

In my later years, it was less a land of pretend and somewhat a land of contention.   It’s where my separated parents came together to spend time and where I had to get used to spending long periods with my father around.  Not always the most fun family dynamic, but the sandy beach and infinite lake seemed to make even dysfunctional family habits tolerable. Our cottage was always the place where I felt most secure, most alive, most balanced.   Driving up there, especially in my later years, I could feel my worries melt away. Mile by mile I felt more carefree, more alive, more myself.  So, I wonder, Where to go now?

Iron Chef

I was going to write a post about this past weekend’s fun Iron Chef event, but Greg’s is so good I’ll let his stand. Go Team Blue! 

Thanks

Thank you for all the birthday wishes!  I had a wonderful birthday dinner, it had all of the proper ingredients: good friends, good food, good wine.  The topper (ender?) was the dozen birthday cupcakes that were cut into fourths, and sometimes even eigths and shared by all.    They were all delicious, but the most memorable was called PB Love.  It's a chocolate cupcake with the yummiest peanut butter frosting. If I ever learned to make a frosting that good I would never eat anything else. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm celebrating my birthday twice actually.  On Saturday, I had some people over to my apt for drinks and then we walked to a nearby pub to finish off the night.  It was fun but I was so busy getting everything together I didn't eat a full meal that day.  I had party snacks but by then the drinks were already out and let's just say I was a cheap date that night.  (if I had had a date that night...)

Sunday was my celebration of International Pajama Day or the "it's almost my birthday so I'm not gonna feel guilty watching tv all day long" day.   I caught up on all the shows that I had taped so I now have plenty of videotape space available.  No more of that "What does this tape have on it?"  Now I know... Nothing!  I have watched everything!

Today, my actual birthday, has been quite nice too, considering that I had to work.   (I think it should be a law that everyone gets their birthday off from work.)  My coworkers decorated my office with a strand of Happy Birthday lights and confetti that is sure to be stuck in my carpet for months to come.   My boss took me out to lunch (not always a treat, but hey, free lunch).  When I came back from lunch I saw that my mom, sister & niece had sent me flowers.   

To end the day off right, I'm going out to dinner with friends.   Sometimes I feel guilty having multiple birthday outings.  I mean come on, it's only a birthday, we all have them.  But this year it means so much to me and I really appreciate it all.  It's not been the best year and I'm determined that next year will be better.  I keep singing the line from the Counting Crows song, Long December .... "Maybe this year will be better than that last".    I like to think of my birthdays as my own personal New Year's Eve.  It's the marking of a new year of life for me, so why not?  This year it has more significance because I don't just want to usher in a new year, but rather say goodbye to a bad time and make it go away.  I know that having a couple of good times out with friends can't change a downward spiral, but this birthday is spurring me on to make some more significant changes in my life.  And just like a resolution on New Year's Day, I'm using this birthday as an opportunity to make a fresh start.    I have been enjoying thinking of my birthday in that way, with only possibilities & optimism for my next year.  Reality will inevitably come crashing down around me, like all those broken New Years resolutions, but here's to hoping they have a somewhat gentler landing.

book buying revelations

I was going to post pictures of my haul from the book sale, but I forgot and I've already started distributing them to bookshelves around my apt.  But you can imagine them.  Picture an box full of flat, rectangular things in pretty colors.  All the new to me books has led me to realize two things:   

1)  I really need to get back to reading every night before bed.  There was a time when I went through a book a week.  A sobering realization, even at that pace my library could keep me occupied for over a year. 

2) I either need to purchase additional bookshelves or re-organize what I have.  Currently one whole bookcase is being used for things other than books.  Yarn & knitting supplies, Cd's, plants, etc.   

Neither one of these will happen in the near future.  I'm of the eclectic school of interior design and I think that books, even stacked on the floor in a hallway, are a good design element.  And good insulation!

I finally received my copy of Budget Living in the mail, what's the point of subscribing if I see the issue at the grocery store before I receive it?  This issued contained a section rating couches.  Now I don't know who puts those spreads together but $3,000?  What kind of budget are you on?     They also had a section for cheap couches, i.e. less than $1,000.  Still pricey, and day dreamy for me, but at least it seems in my reach.   I fell in love with this couch.  *sigh*   And this is perfectly wonderful too.   Maybe I'll skip the bookcase and buy one lovely couch to be surrounded by stacks of books....

I will never catch up on my reading if I keep getting sucked into America's Next Top Model marathons on VH1.  They are replaying the seasons with a frequency I just can't put my finger on.  These shows are old and I already know who the winners are, but then why can't I stop watching?